i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All the doctor said was why
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize