Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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