Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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