dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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