You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
