Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
