Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize