So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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