yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
