Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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