i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
