I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
