i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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