all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize