I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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