i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
