I'm laying in your front yard are you home
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
