I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
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Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no