she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
