Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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