...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
