what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
