The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize