I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You were trust falling into bushes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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