I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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