just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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