No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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