Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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