Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
