Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
