I can text with my tongue
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
