This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Less talking, more tequila
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
