Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
