That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait