We're like a lot better than the average bears
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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