i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
