I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I will pee on everything he values.
Vodka?
Forever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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