i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this just has baby written all over it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
