So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
