You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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