Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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