Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
