you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize