why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
