I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
