You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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