You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
