life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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