Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
