She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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