I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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