Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
