Don't make out with my wife yet
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
