im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
