And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
