I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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