biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
