Please, let me fuck your mom
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
