So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
