Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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