tell your sister to shave her snatch
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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