well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
