I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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